writing

Today was a good day. Most days, lately, have been really good.

I've never really felt as healthy as I do right now. It's awesome.

In fact, it's sort of hard to find something to write about, since most of the time my reasons for writing are to deconstruct my mental tangles and bring myself sanity again. This is good, however. I can focus my energy on something different. I can focus on being creative.

Not being in college anymore is wonderful. I'm sure that I will go back to school someday, but I am going to enjoy this for as long as possible. I come home from work and I say, "Amanda, what would you like to do this evening? It's all up to you!" As a working student, nearly every waking moment of my time was devoted to someone else - my employer, or my homework. And for the last year I also devoted myself to other things which proved to be an incredible strain.

This is a season where I can focus on healing and not straining.

God it's good.

Health is a matter of balance. Finding harmony, finding your place. Finding a proper place for each desire of your heart, accepting the harvest of seeds you've sown (whether good or bad), empathizing with humanity. Giving mercy to others as well as yourself. Paying for the things you want and not expecting something for nothing. Discovering, uncovering and appreciating beauty. Oh, what a joy it is to be alive...

This is the kingdom of heaven.