"Every moment marked
With apparitions of your soul
I'm ever swiftly moving
Trying to escape this desire
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
And I have the sense to recognize that
I don't know how to let you go.."
I was going through files on my computer and I found this letter I had written to Dick (but did not give him) in December 2012, a couple of months after I started working for him. As far as I know, this is the only time I ever referred to him as "Mr. B." Probably so no one would ever read it and know who I was talking to.
Dear mr b,
I wish I knew how to articulate to you what it is that I feel about you. Its not that I don't know how to articulate it to you, I just don't know how to articulate it at all. You've come to me during a season of my life where I have felt like a dry sponge lacking love and health and validation as a human being. You have loved me so kindly and generously and brought a restoration to my heart through the strength of your benevolence towards me and others. I think of you often and care about you and pray for you and wish for the security of your happiness. I see the goodness of God and kindness of Christ and joy of heaven in your life and in your stories and in the pictures of your children. Their radiance tells me the story of lives that were well lived and enjoyed even though they were tragically short. I love to see that life in their faces in photgraphs, and it is the same life I see when I see you smile and that I hear when you laugh. It is magic and lovely. I don't know why we could not have met 30 years ago, but hey...maybe we just can't have it all. I'm glad I have what we have now, a good friendship and an open line of communication and affection that fills the soul with everything it needs. I don't need much else in life, if anything at all.
I don't know what the future will bring, but I hope that it brings us more talks of all kinds and hugs and times of enjoying good meals and each others company. I don't want to rush to find a man to marry because I'm enjoying this too much. There are broken places in me, so shattered by loss and painful experiences and reactions, and somehow by being your friend and sharing our stories and pieces of our lives with each other, I have seen many of those broken pieces come back together again. I worry so much less than I used to. I sleep better at night knowing there is someone who cares. I love you. Thank you for being my friend.
With apparitions of your soul
I'm ever swiftly moving
Trying to escape this desire
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
And I have the sense to recognize that
I don't know how to let you go.."
I was going through files on my computer and I found this letter I had written to Dick (but did not give him) in December 2012, a couple of months after I started working for him. As far as I know, this is the only time I ever referred to him as "Mr. B." Probably so no one would ever read it and know who I was talking to.
Dear mr b,
I wish I knew how to articulate to you what it is that I feel about you. Its not that I don't know how to articulate it to you, I just don't know how to articulate it at all. You've come to me during a season of my life where I have felt like a dry sponge lacking love and health and validation as a human being. You have loved me so kindly and generously and brought a restoration to my heart through the strength of your benevolence towards me and others. I think of you often and care about you and pray for you and wish for the security of your happiness. I see the goodness of God and kindness of Christ and joy of heaven in your life and in your stories and in the pictures of your children. Their radiance tells me the story of lives that were well lived and enjoyed even though they were tragically short. I love to see that life in their faces in photgraphs, and it is the same life I see when I see you smile and that I hear when you laugh. It is magic and lovely. I don't know why we could not have met 30 years ago, but hey...maybe we just can't have it all. I'm glad I have what we have now, a good friendship and an open line of communication and affection that fills the soul with everything it needs. I don't need much else in life, if anything at all.
I don't know what the future will bring, but I hope that it brings us more talks of all kinds and hugs and times of enjoying good meals and each others company. I don't want to rush to find a man to marry because I'm enjoying this too much. There are broken places in me, so shattered by loss and painful experiences and reactions, and somehow by being your friend and sharing our stories and pieces of our lives with each other, I have seen many of those broken pieces come back together again. I worry so much less than I used to. I sleep better at night knowing there is someone who cares. I love you. Thank you for being my friend.
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